i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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