I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I don't think brook has ever known best
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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