She went from zero to smokin in five shots
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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