you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
