Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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