I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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