How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
