i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
