just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize