Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
