I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
