So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
