i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
