member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
