shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
