You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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