it wasn't lemon gatorade
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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