He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
