Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
