i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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