on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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