By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
