i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
