Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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