Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
