it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize