The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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