Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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