Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
