worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
