we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
