doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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