what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
