Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
