I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
