Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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