With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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