Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
