Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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