we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
