we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
