Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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