so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
