I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize