i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
