Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
