shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
This girl is more easily done than said...
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
