When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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