Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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