ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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