don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
