My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I touched a dick in church today
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
