I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
