we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
