That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
