she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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