Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
