she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
