1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
