Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
