I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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