I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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