Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
